Posted by: Lauren | January 7, 2009

To Help with that Weightloss Resolution

In case you can’t get to the gym for an intense workout, consider these alternative ways to burn calories each hour:

Beating around the bush……………………75
Jumping to conclusions…………………..100
Climbing the walls…………………………..150
Swallowing your pride………………………50
Passing the buck………………………………25
Throwing your weight around (depending on your weight)……….50-300
Dragging your heels………………………..100
Pushing your luck…………………………..250
Making mountains out of molehills….500
Hitting the nail on the head……………….50
Wading through paperwork……………..300
Bending over backwards…………………….75
Jumping on the bandwagon………………200
Running around in circles…………………350
Eating crow……………………………………..225
Tooting your own horn……………………….25
Adding fuel to the fire……………………….150
Opening a can of worms……………………..50

Posted by: Lauren | January 5, 2009

Why There Are Fines for Littering

How long does it take for an item to disintegrate? Here’s a list of a few different items of trash…

Paper traffic ticket: 2-4 weeks
Cotton rag: 1-5 months
Degradable polyethylene bag: 2-3 months
Piece of rope: 3-14 months
Wool stockings: 1 year
Bamboo pole: 1-3 years
Unpainted wooden stake: 1-4 years
Painted wooden stake: 13 years
Wooden light pole: 15-36 years
Railroad crosstie: 30 years
Tin or steel can: 100 years
Aluminum can: 200-500 years
Plastic six pack cover: 450 years

Posted by: Lauren | January 2, 2009

A Eulogy on Death

This is something I would have read at my funeral.

Death is nothing at all. It does not count. I have only slipped away into the next room. Nothing has happened. Everything remains exactly as it was. I am I, and you are you, and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged. Whatever we were to each other, that we are still. Call me by the old familiar name. Speak of me in the easy way which you always used. Put no difference into your tone. Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow. Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together. Play, smile, think of me, pray for me. Let my name be ever the household word that it always was. Let it be spoken without an effort, without a ghost of a shadow upon it. Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was. There is absolute and unbroken continuity. What is death but a negligible accident? Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner. All is well.

Posted by: Lauren | December 31, 2008

New Year’s Resolutions

I never have been one for new year’s resolutions…well, for keeping them anyway. I always have things I intend to accomplish in a year, but I’m not quite sure I’ve ever sat down and planned them out. Well this year is different.

Below is my personal New Year’s Resolution list. I do have other ones. Like what I want to accomplish professionally, politically, and spiritually. But this one is more informal (not meaning it’s less important; simply that they are the little things I want to accomplish). So here they go…

* read 5 books
* clean out closet
* $650 saved (2012 London Trip Account)
* gym 2x/week
* blogpost every 2 weeks
* not miss day of work/school all year
* get A/B in every class
* go to at least 2 Antelope Valley Republican Association meetings
* no sugar at all until 7/1
* sell/give away books unneeded (Erin/Chad & Summer)
* create budget
* drink 5 cups of water a day
* accomplish two things from bucket list (learn to cook; go 6 months without sweets)
* get license before birthday
* train myself to wake up at 5:45 every morning

You may not understand each one of them, but I do. And I guess that’s all that matters. So here’s to the new year. May it bring both you and me more prosperity and growth than last year did.

Posted by: Lauren | December 2, 2008

Tips for Christmas Shopping

It’s that time of year. Time for pine trees, colored lights, decorations, mistletoe, eggnog, hot chocolate, and shopping. While shopping may not seem to ooze “Christmas spirit,” the feeling of Christmas can often permeate shopping habits. It’s been proven that people tend to overspend at Christmastime for the simple fact that it’s the most “feel-good” time of the year.

According to a recent study by Roy Morgan Research, around 60% of people dislike Christmas shopping, 20% percent plan their shopping expeditions ahead of time, and the majority of us (nearly 75%) often come home without a single purchase for our efforts. This can cause some stress during what is supposed to be one of the most joyful seasons of the year!

Here are a few stress reduction strategies for successful Christmas shopping as presented by the Victorian government of Australia (and some of my own tips peppered in as well):

1. Make a list of all the gifts you wish to buy before you go shopping. If you wait for inspiration to strike, you could be wandering aimlessly around the shopping center for hours.

2. Combine gifts if at all possible. Rather than buying your parents something separately, get them something they’ll both enjoy (digital picture frame, gift card to their favorite restaurant, etc).

3. If possible, do your Christmas shopping early—in the first week of December or even in November. Some well-organized people do their Christmas shopping gradually over the course of the year, starting with the post-Christmas sales.

4. Buy your gifts by catalog or online. Some companies will also gift-wrap and post your presents for a small additional fee.

5. If you feel the urge to buy a gift while in the store, pick it up and carry it around the store with you. Then right before you check out, re-evaluate your purchases, setting aside things that are unnecessary.

6. If you tend to impulse buy, visit the store without your wallet but with only a pen and paper. Write down everything you see that you would like along with notating their prices. Take the paper home and compare prices online.

7. Before you go out shopping, take some time to take an inventory of your finances. Write down every bill you will face in December—house payment, car payment, groceries, phone payment, etc. Then figure out how much income you will receive (remember that if you are taking time off for the holidays, you may not get paid those days). Then figure out how much “extra” money you will have left over to spend on gifts.

8. Hide your credit cards. A good rule of thumb is, “If you don’t have it, don’t spend it.” Of course, if you don’t have a problem overspending or overcharging, you can carry your credit cards, but be wary of using them for Christmas gifts.

9. Don’t go overboard. I’m sure grandma would be just as happy with a picture album of your family rather than that $250 iPod. You can’t buy love, because it often comes in cheaper, more meaningful gifts.

10. Get creative. For your friends, buy some Christmas mugs and fill it with a couple individualized hot cocoa packets and a candy cane. Or bake Christmas cookies, wrap them in cellophane, and tie Christmas ribbon around it. There are many inexpensive ways to give gifts as long as you’re creative.

11. And last, always rethink your purchases before buying them. Ask: Do I need this? Can I get it cheaper somewhere else? Can I get them a better/less expensive gift? Can I combine gifts?

Make this Christmas season a one of joy and memories, not discouragement and regret. Have a plan and work that plan and I can assure you, you’ll not only be happy to see the smiles of your family opening their gifts but will be smiling yourself at the money you saved.

Happy Christmas Shopping!

Posted by: Lauren | November 27, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving to All!

No matter your background, race, political preference, social status, or whatever; you have been blessed. You live in the greatest nation in the world (if you live in America) and have more opportunities than most anybody else. So spend some time today thanking God for all He’s given you.

I’m thankful for my family. They’re always supportive and loving even when I make mistakes.

I’m thankful for my friends. They keep life exciting and interesting.

I’m thankful for my education. Without it, I’m not sure where I’d be headed in life.

I’m thankful for my country. This is a big one. Yes, America has its difficulties and struggles, but I still believe America is the greatest place on earth. Because I live in America, I have the opportunity to become whatever I want, worship whoever I want, and conduct my life however I want. I have freedom, freedom for which men and women died. I am thankful for their sacrifice as well.

But most of all, I am thankful to God above for loving me just as I am—a broken, imperfect person. He has given me meaning to life and has given me hope to my future. Because of Him, I know where I’m going when I die. He deserves the thanks for everything I have in life.

So for whom or what are you thankful?

Posted by: Lauren | November 26, 2008

In Case of Python Attack…

Ever wondered how to fend off a python? Me neither. But apparently it’s serious stuff to Peace Corps members serving in Brazil. According to their manual, the correct way to avert a python attack is as follows:

“Remember not to run away; the python can run (slither?) faster. The thing to do is to lie flat on the ground on your back with your feet together, arms at your side, head well down. The python will then try to push its head under you, experimenting at every possible point. Keep calm. You must let him swallow your foot. (Wait…swallow my foot?!) It is quite painless and it will take a long time. (And I’m just supposed to lie there?) If you lose your head and struggle, he will quickly whip his coils around you. If you keep calm and still, he will go on swallowing. (At this point having his coils around me sounds better than him swallowing me whole.) Wait patiently until he has swallowed up to about your knee. (About?! What if he swallows more? Is there some imaginary line of demarcation?) Then carefully take out your knife (because who DOESN’T have a knife on them at all times) and insert it into the distended side of his mouth and with a quick rip slit him up. (One question: What is the distended side of the mouth? Can I just choose a side?)”

And what are the instructions if he starts swallowing your head instead of your feet?

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